1.) Girls, don't go for the good guys because they feel like they will still be around. Poor Choice #1:
Most girls, I have made an encounter with just don't like nice guys. Why? That beats me. I think some girls think like let me have my fun now, with all these guys that have this and that but doesn't particularly treat her the best and when I'm ready I'll settle down with him. Why? Because I feel like if a girl knows you really like them they will do just enough to keep you around and not leave her. Basically, it's like the girl will want to come to you on their terms. Also, sometimes us nice guys feel like when we do get her we have to be damn near perfect for her to stay wit us otherwise she will leave.
2.) Insanity:
Albert Einstein once said "If You Keep Doing something over and over and expect a different result is Insanity."
When it comes to relationships some girls are just insane. When a girl is in love they will try anything and everything to make a relationship. Trust me I know, a lot of girls who have got abused physically, emotionally, and mentally but decided not to leave. For two reasons they feel like he can change or they are scared to leave. Some girls even know they guy is cheating will stay with him. Some girls feel like they can change a guy and for the most part they cant. A relationship needs to be 50/50 not 60/40 or 70/30. What baffles me is why girls, just keep on staying in abusive relationships then when the right guy comes along they don't give him the fair shot he deserves because of what their ex's did to them in their past. As much as girls would like tot think all guys are no good and they're all the same it's not even remotely close to being true. Which leads me to my next point, Nice Guys have to pick up the pieces.
3.) Nice Guys Always Pick Up The Pieces:
Nice Guys, always pick up the pieces when it comes to most girls. Let's be honest almost every girl has been in a real BAD relationship and that makes it harder for the next guy to come along who actually gives a damn. Girls, get lied too and cheated on constantly and let's be honest I get why they would think all guys are the same. But, we aren't and normally when girls get out of a bad relationship normally there's a good chance that the nice guy is the next guy to come in line. That leaves us in the tough spot to fix her heart and make her trust again. I don't know about you but, building trust with a girl is almost a hard thing to accomplish. You definitely have to have patience to go through that process. A Nice Guy can only try so hard but, if a girl who keeps questioning you about where you been or who you're talking too and you haven't even done anything to make her suspicious can take it's toll. Which leads right into my last point Trust Issues when it comes to girls, and nobody not being friends first anymore.
4.) Trust Issues
Girls tend to do a real good job when it comes too now being able to trust a guy after one guy treats them wrong. They have a tendency to believe all guys are up to no good. Which I don't think is fair but most of the girls in this generation treat them this way because so many guys treat them wrong. If you can get a girl with trust issues to completely and I mean COMPLETELY trust you then you have done a great job. Only the strong couples have complete trust in each other nowadays. I say this because nowadays a girl with major trust issues may trust you to a certain extent. In the back of their mind though, they are waiting for that one day you slip up so they can say see I told you all of them are the same, just up to no good. Some of their trust issues are also the girls fault. When, you decide to go with a thug instead of a nice guy, or you go with the guy who isn't doing anything with this life over a guy who is or a guy who is getting his education at the college level to try to better himself, baffles me. It falls back under the Insanity section. Trust is so hard to gain but so easy to lose with a snap of a finger. I understand why girls have trust issues but you can't let one or in some cases a few bad relationship(s) change your outlook on guys because a girl will never find the right one. At least thats what I think no guy wants a girl who will always have trust issues, at some point you have to be comfortable in your skin. Guys are willing to work with you with trust issues but constantly getting accused of stuff you didn't do is going to get old and he will leave you point. blank. period.
5.) Rushing into Things
For the most part in this generation guys and girls do things backwards. Our Generation doesn't really take the time to get to know the person that are dating. When it comes to relationships you have to treat it like you're going for a job interview. You have to look at their qualifications and see if they fit the criteria that you're looking for. I would say two months is a sufficient amount of time to figure out if he/she is suitable for you. Nowadays though it's just more like oh hey you're cute you wanna have sex? There should be no way a guy should have sex with a girl he met on the first night. The way I look at is you have to the girls heart before you have sex and get into the intimate part of the relationship because if you do it backwards you are never giving the relationship the proper chance to thrive. People, normally start off as "Fuck Buddies" then decide they want to get into a relationship. That's the wrong way to go about it. If you really think about people's relationships who really work out will tell you that the two people involved in a relationship have to be friends first. When you ask people what is they key to a successful relationship they will tell you trust, honesty, and that you have to be friends first. A good amount of them will probably tell you their counterpart is their best friend. Some girls, also might not be ready for a relationship but, fearing they might lose the guy might rush into it and that doesn't give the relationship a good start. You need a solid foundation in order for a relationship to work successfully. One last thing I want to say to the ladies if he loves you he will wait when it comes to sex for sure, and also if you tell him I really like you but I'm not ready for a relationship because I have some things I need to work I'm positive that if he really wants to be with you he will WAIT.
With that being said Goodnight I hope you enjoyed this blog because Yup, Yup, I am a Nice Guy, so ladies start giving a Nice Guy a try. Might be the best decision in your life.
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2 comments:
You have made many valid points about where women go wrong with men who are nice guys and how there are many trust issues that stand in the way of a possibly wonderful relationship. However sir, there are two sides to this story.
Yes, women give men a hard time because of the things that have been done to them. However, have you stopped to consider that maybe they have been with someone who claimed to be a nice guy?
There are the real nice guys, but then there are "Nice Guys." These creatures find the girl that they want and swear to her that he will treat her well, that he will never do the things that the other guys did because they have had it done to them. Then they accordingly work their way into the deep depths of the females heart and weave the web of trust and love. After doing so, and realizing how strong this web could be, they manipulate situations to their liking and do the things that they want to do because they know that the female party will stay with them, whether it be mental/physical abuse, cheating, borderline cheating, or whatever. The female party allows this to continue by denying her own judgement, whether it be because they try to believe all of the lies that are spouted to them or because they don't have solid evidence of questionable actions but the indescribebable feeling that sits in their stomach. At this point the "Nice Guy" has broken down the female to the point of wanting to scavange anything that they can out of the relationship because they can't believe that the one who swore to them that they would never do them wrong, the sweetheart, the "Nice Guy" is the one that is messing them over. This is one of the reasons why females tend to stay in relationships that they would be better off getting away from.
Us women are emotional creatures, and once some "Nice Guy," who is really a bad guy with a wicked mouthpiece, comes along and messes over out mind, it takes a while to get back into shape. After dealing with a situation like that, the female's trust level is so stricken that she cannot believe what the actual nice guy has to say, and therefore the REAL nice guys, like you I'm guessing, get the brunt of it all. Yes, I know it sucks, but females have to go through the same thing. Females have to go through being treated like crap because this one girl messed over their male counterpart and caused them to have the "F*** B*****s" attitude, not have respect for women anymore, and treat them like dirt.
I do agree with your 5th bullet point about relationships being rushed. Half of these situations wouldn't happen if people took the time to scope out the person that they are with.
In conclusion, if you Nice Guys keep doing what you are doing, you will definitely find someone who will appreciate you, it just takes a lot longer.
Just had to put in my two cents on the matter.. gotta represent for the ladies. ;D
You definitely had some valid points Gabbi, there are a lot of imposers who claim themselves to be "Nice Guys" but I'm the real deal lol.
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